Lets talk about Self-harm

Lets talk about Self-harm

Its time to break the taboo of Self harm.

The UK has the highest self harm rate of any other country in Europe, and female suicide rates are the highest they've ever been in over a decade.
According to statistics 1 in 10 young people will Self-harm at some point In their life, that is roughly 3 in every classroom. So why are we still not talking about it?

Its sad that the subject is still so taboo; even in todays 'enlightened society', for most people that very idea that an individual, for whatever reason, would self harm fills them with horror and disgust.
Because people can't see it, they won't discuss it. Its like burying you head in the sand and hoping that the problem will disappear. However it never works and just leaves the person struggling in
silence.

Self-harm is real, very real. In first year of secondary school when the age range is eleven to twelve it is estimated that three pupils will have thought about or acted on thoughts to self-harm.
People self harm for all kinds of different reasons, some are unhappy with how they look, others will try to punish themselves for not being societies idea of 'good enough'  but most will use self-harm as a way to deal with difficult thoughts and emotions their experiencing.

Self-harm Is an addiction. It may start off by an impulse or something you do to feel in more control but soon with out realising self harm will start to control you.

Ok, so you are probably wondering how Self-harm can become an addiction?
When you are injured, your brain releases a chemical called dopamine (happiness hormone) to compensate for the pain. So when an individual begins Self-harming their body then releases this chemical which gives them a slight happiness boost. People become addicted to the endorphins released in their brain when you act on the urge to self harm - this then leads to them feeling like they can't stop.

If you know someone who is struggling with self-harm or you suspect they might be - Please don't confront them angrily. Don't excuse them of being selfish or stupid. Because the truth is they're not.
Sometimes our view of ourself and the world around us are skewed compared to others. Reacting in a way that will come across as aggressive will not help the situation. Everyones reactions to these things are different and it is understandable but it is not going to help and will usually make matters worse. Talk calmly, and if the person wants to talk, then listen. Because listening to what they want to say and why they are self-harming can make a massive difference and it will reinforce to that person that people do care. Have a conversation about other, more safer, coping mechanisms.

Selfharm - Alternatives?
. Sit with family - they will feel much safer around people than when they are by themselves. The risk of self harm is much higher when an individual is alone.
. Go on a walk - If they have a dog then going for a nice relaxing walk can be a good distraction.
Take a bath - Have a nice bath with your favourite bath bomb, etc!
Watch something on TV - Put something on tv that you enjoy or put your favourite film on - as watching something you love will help and make you feel a tad better!
Draw/colouring in - If you like art then drawing may be a good distraction. And also you might of have heard about the  'De-stress colouring books' which have became really popular in the last year - these are a great distraction if you are struggling.
There is loads of distractions out there but I've listed some of the main most helpful ones!

The sad thing is, there is advice, guidance and support out there; but because no one talks about it there is no real way to tell people that their not alone. If you a struggling with self-harm then please reach out for help! Suffering in silence is not the way forward.

Whilst I hope that self-harm will eventually become a thing of the past. Right know it isn't so pretending that it doesn't exist will only make matters worse.
So please, access the help out there!

I hope you've enjoyed reading this post and that you've learnt a thing or two about the truths of Self-harm.

Thank you for reading,
lots of love,
Leah x

Managing your mental health in school

How to cope with your mental health in school, college or university.

Going into a new year at school or starting your first year at college is a very stressful time in itself, but when your battling mental health problems starting the new academic year can be a very daunting process. But your not alone, 1 in 4 people struggle with their mental health this means that the thoughts you are having about starting the new year will be very familiar to some others in your group.


My mental health struggles took the last two years I had left at secondary school away from me, but going back to year maybe year eight or nine I was that pupil who's attendance was below 50% by only the first term. I was that pupil who was the subject of conversation in the staff room by teachers who were 'concerned' about my lack of progress. I often heard teachers talking about me and how I was just 'another one of them students'. I was that student who from the outside looked like they didn't care, a student who looked unmotivated. But that was far from the truth.
I was struggling with severe mental health problems. I was getting 2-3 hours sleep on a good night and still dragging myself out of bed anyway despite usually being late. I was coming into school and leaving my parents at home worried sick about me, I would get into as many lessons as I could despite knowing my illnesses were wrecking my home life. I would be discharged from hospital after an awful weekend and return to school the next day and appear 'fine' but then have to face the comments of, "Your never going to pass you GCSE's at this rate" "Do you even care?" "Why do you even bother coming in". I usually avoided these questions and changed the subject in fear of being judged if they found out what was actually going on. I went to school not to pass my exams but because I didn't want to give up on another thing because of my mental health.
I wanted to be normal.

I started my first year at college last year in September 2016. Going back to education after a long two years out petrified me, but sometimes a new year can make all the difference.

Keeping yourself as well as you possibly can is key to managing in education.
Prioritise yourself. You need to make time to rest, to socialise, to eat and to sleep.
If you know your mental health is going to affect your time in school, college or university then you need to use the staff there, weather thats your tutor or a member of staff from your schools pastoral team. Don't be afraid to reach out for help, that is what they are their for. Yes they care about your education but you health always comes first no matter what.
Do everything you can not cancel appointments with services because of your timetable. If your appointments seem to clash with lessons try and get your care team to rearrange appointments around your lessons so you have time to get to both.
Some people find asking for help extremely difficult but if you need to take some time out of lessons for whatever reason you can do that. Teachers would much rather you take five or ten minutes out to calm down and refocus than letting your anxiety build up until you go into a panic.

Thank you for reading and I hope these little reminders have been useful.
I hope your all well and that you all have a good week!
Lots of love,
Leah x

World Mental Health Day - What can we do?

World Mental Health Day

What can we do to make a difference?

As the annual World Mental health day is soon approaching, I thought that this would be the best time to give you some ideas on what you could be doing to get involved.
Each year on the 10th of October, people across the globe join together to educate, raise awareness and advocate against social stigma surrounding mental health. Charities such as MIND, Youndminds and Time to change all take part in different ways to contribute to World mental health day.

This year YoundMinds have started the campaign #HelloYellow -
By wearing yellow this mental health day we want to show young people that they're not alone when it comes to their mental health.


Mental Health Facts and Statistics;
. Approximately 1 in 4 people in the UK will experience a mental health problem each year.
. 1 in 5 people young adults have a diagnosable mental health disorder.
. Half of all mental health problems manifest by the age of 14 with 75% by the age 24.
. Suicide is the most common cause of death for boys aged 5-19, and the second most common for girls of this age.
. 1 in 12 young people self-harm at some point in their lives, though there is evidence this is a lot higher.


We need more funding to offer more support!
. 3 in 4 children who have a diagnosable mental health condition do not get access to the support that they need.
. The average maximum waiting time for the first appointment with CAMHS (child and adolescent mental health service) is 6 months, and nearly 10 months until the start of treatment.
. Just 0.7% of the NHS budget is spent on children's mental health and only 16% of this is spent on early intervention.
. 9 out of 10 people with a mental health condition experience stigma and discrimination.


World Mental Health Day
This years theme for world mental health day is workplace wellbeing.
Here's a few tips on how to keep yourself well at work;
. Create boundaries between work and home
. Start a todo list to help you become more organised and focused
. Finish work on time as much as possible
. If you can, listen to music - this helps calms you so you can refocus
. Ask for help - If you work load is spiralling out of control take time to discuss it with your supervisor or manager.


How can you get involved in World Mental Health Day?

Nobody should face a mental health problem alone. However due to government funding cuts services across the country are experiencing a national crisis. Services need our help so they can be there for patients who are suffering alone.
There is so many ways you can make a difference, and I'm going to list some of the most common ideas!

Take on an active challenge! - Run, trek, skydive, cycle, or swim are all great ideas on raising money!

Do your own fundraising!  From bake sales to bungee jumps there are endless ways to raise funds for mental health charities.

Fundraise at school - There are loads of ways to fundraise at school; Here are are few ideas to get you started
Cake Sale
None school uniform
Karaoke
 raffels - Hamper?

Giving in memory - Raising funds in memory of a loved one is a very special way to remember them. It can mean so much at a time of sadness and provide a tribute that lasts for years to come.

Thank you for reading and I hope this post has gave you some ideas on how you could contribute to
World mental health day!


Side note - For WMHD I am taking 5 bloggers to do a guest post on a topic of their choice on my blog, they will be uploaded from the Monday the 9th of October to Friday the 14th of October.
If you are interested please contact me via twitter or Instagram - @Leahalderr

Anyway I hope you enjoyed this post and I hope your all well,
Lots of love,
 leah x

How to lead a more positive life

How to lead a more positive life

How can you have a more positive outlook on life when struggling with Mental Illnesses?

Being positive sounds so simple, right? And you have probably all heard someone saying 'think positive'. But is it really that simple? Having any type of illness weather that being Mental or Psychical will put a downer on how you think about life. So how can you stay positive when struggling with long term mental health problems?

Positivity is choosing to see the bright side of life. It is recognising that struggle and pain are not all whats there, even if they're all we can see in a certain moment. It is seeing the good in people even when we have to search really hard. Its about trusting ourselves.

Negativity is about finding fault and worry in people and situations. Its about focusing on the one thing that went wrong when a zillion others went right. But what if our lives aren't perfect? Should we pretend our illnesses don't exist? Absolutely not. I used to think that if I shared my struggles people would think I'm being negative. Then I realised that holding in all the bad stuff made me feel even worse. instead of feeling free I felt trapped.

10 top tips on how to become more positive!

1. Be comfortable in your own skin.
The first step to feel more positive about yourself is to feel comfortable in your own skin. No one is perfect and everyone was born with flaws, You have to accept yourself for who you are and love yourself. If your not happy within you own skin it becomes your biggest concern, that stays on the top of your mind all day. It kills your self-esteem, confidence and happiness within yourself. Surround yourself with people who value the same things in you and leave the people with bad attitudes behind.

2.Keep Active
Keeping active weather thats going to the gym or just filling your day with day to day things is a massive help to staying well. Regular exercise can boost your self-esteem and can help you concentrate, sleep, look and feel better. Exercise or just keeping busy massively improves your mental health.

3. Don't isolate yourself.
Its especially easy for those who are affected by psychical or mental illness to disconnect from the outside world. Its easier than you think,  illnesses that limit you to your house or even your bedroom have already cut off the majority of your social life. But staying in contact is really important, call or text you friends and family and try stay as involved as possible. If your not limited to your house, getting out to go and see friends, or go shopping or even just for a walk is essential for your health.

4. Surround yourself with positive people
If you want to become and live a more positive life, you have to make sure you spend time with people who let off positive energy. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good, and people who have a positive impact on your mood.

5. Live in the moment
You are not your thoughts, life unfolds in the present. But so often we let the present slip away, allowing time to rush past us. Focus on the present, the here and now. Try and stop your mind running away and thinking about the future. Be aware of your surroundings, and try focus on all the good things around you.

6. Let go of your need to control
A lot of people feel the need to be in control, it makes you feel secure but at the same time, with control we lose freedom. Trying to control things will not only drive other people away which will make you panic more but it hinders you from achieving happiness.

7. Avoid overthinking
This is what a lot of us do, we worry about our future. about our career, health, living, money, and about the ones we love. We worry because we are scared. However worrying doesn't make anything better unless we stop worrying and start taking actions towards our goals.

8. Have an open mind
Having an open mind helps you learn and grow, strengthen your belief in yourself. There is an honesty that comes with an open mind because being open minded means admitting that you aren't all knowing. It means believing that whatever truth you find might always have more to it than you realise.

9. Go slowly
I have found that when I go fast, when I try to think, talk, eat and move around in my world really quickly then things don't go to well. Stress builds up. Negative thoughts about just about anything start to well up and then I feel like my personal power decreases.  If I slow down even if its just for a few minutes when I'm walking, talking or eating - then my mind and body calms down too. It becomes easier to think things through clearly again and easier to find the optimistic and constructive perspective.

10. Transform negative self-talk to positive self-talk.
Some people think more negatively than others, and usually people don't realise there actually putting themselves down a lot - because they've become so used to negative self-talk. It can creep up easily and often hard to notice. You might think 'I'm so bad at this' or 'I shouldn't of tried that'. But these thoughts turn into internalised feelings and might cement your conceptions of yourself. When you catch yourself doing this, stop and replace those negative messages with positive ones. For example; 'Im so bad at this' becomes 'yes I may not be the best but with more practice I will get better at it'.

I hope this post has been useful, and that you feel able to try some of these tips out!

Positive mind,
Positive vibes,
Positive life.

Hope your all well,
Love Leah x